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27 October 2023

Characters of Ayrburn - Kevin

Ayrburn

"Cricket is a gentleman's sport". This quote is perhaps as famous a game itself. But it seems that Kevin had never been made aware of it. Either that or this wild and enthusiastic kunekune pig believed that you needn't be a human to be considered a 'gentleman'. 

Kevin was lucky enough to have front row seats to the annual cricket match that opposed Arrowtown and the staff of Ayrburn. This event was taken seriously - as befits the sport itself - by all involved. The players wore white, enlisted the help of an umpire, and respected the official tea breaks. It was a civilised affair. 

Until, that is, the ball rolled a little too close to the bush in which Kevin was hiding. He had been happy to remain a spectator until this moment. But as the dazzling red orb landed on the grass just a few feet from him, Kevin became convinced that cricket was played not with manmade balls, but juicy red apples. And this spectator was in the mood for a mid-game snack. He charged onto the pitch, picked up the ball with his mouth, and made off with it as fast as his pocket-sized legs would carry him. 

Arrowtown and Ayrburn players banded together to track down Kevin and retrieve their ball. It didn't take them long. A nearby hedge was alive with snorts and grunts as the pig wrestled with the hardest and most flavourless fruit he had ever tasted. Eventually, he gave up on the thing, deciding that cricket was played with a variety of apple that was so bland it wasn't worthy of consumption. 

After much wiping of the ball, play resumed. Arrowtown won that year. The Ayrburn team accepting their defeat, but always maintained that Kevin's antics had put them off their game. 

It is said that one of Kevin's ancestors still lives somewhere in the valley. And although no one has seen him for many years, our chef often leaves food out for him. A bright red apple, of course.